Friendship, Vulnerability, and Daring to Be You

Brene Brown, Vulnerability, Courage, Friendship, Oprah, Super Soul Sunday, LeAura Alderson, Best Boomers and Beyond, Baby Boomers, Boomers Reinvented, Fair weathered friends,
Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of Imperfection
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Love and friendship is the source of our greatest joy.  And our greatest pain.

Brené Brown’s messages touches my heart and speaks to my sense of life, of friendship and of daring greatly to live and be more than I’ve been before. To be more than I—and others—have assumed I could be.

I first discovered Brené on her first TED talk on The Power of Vulnerability.  It has received over 19 million views, so it clearly touched a resonant chord within many of us.

Clearly, she wasn’t doing a rehearsed talk on vulnerability but rather she was epitomizing her concept, even as she spoke it. Since then I’ve read her book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.

Brene Brown, Vulnerability, Courage, Friendship, Oprah, Super Soul Sunday, LeAura Alderson, Best Boomers and Beyond, Baby Boomers, Boomers Reinvented, Fair weathered friends,Excerpt from a TED Blog article by Kate Torgovnick May: “When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make,” says Brown. “Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience.”

 

Brené Brown, TED 2012
Brené Brown, TED 2012, Listening to Shame

Whether you’re struggling with anything now, or not, you will benefit immensely from Brené’s TED talk in 2012, titled Listening to Shame. She begins by sharing a conversation with a good friend of hers.

Which, by the way, was inspiring not only because of Brené’s vulnerability in sharing, but also because of her friend. We all need a friend like that. The kind of friend who will never hesitate to speak the truth from her perspective, no matter if it’s pleasing to the ear or not. And yet who loves us anyway… warts, bumps, bloopers and all.

We all need the kind of friend—and to be that kind of friend—who celebrates our victories, cries over our pains with us, and yet always… always speaks her mind, tempered through her heart.  Guys too.  Guys need that kind of friend, and need to be that kind of friend.

Deep and meaningful friendships that have withstood the test of time have this going for them.

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Friends can help us see and navigate obstacles. We’re on the journey together, each sometimes leading, following, nudging and helping.

Brene Brown, Vulnerability, Courage, Friendship, Oprah, Super Soul Sunday, LeAura Alderson, Best Boomers and Beyond, Baby Boomers, Boomers Reinvented, Fair weathered friends,The deep relationships that weather the storms of time, are those built on mutual learning, growth, respect and love…. on an assumption of trust and love.  And, someone with whom you can be vulnerable. It is only in our vulnerability that we are truly real.

If we are not truly real together, then who are we?

Brene Brown, Vulnerability, Courage, Friendship, Oprah, Super Soul Sunday, LeAura Alderson, Best Boomers and Beyond, Baby Boomers, Boomers Reinvented, Fair weathered friends,BUT… Brené also cautions us about vulnerability in her second book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. She says:

“We need to look before we take the vulnerability leap, and choose carefully who we open up to.”

Many people dive in with both feet and a bare heart and share their soul too soon.

In talking with Oprah on Super Soul Sunday, about her Gifts of Imperfection book, Brené Brown elaborates on this, speaking of six types of people as “friends”, some of whom may not be the place you go to be vulnerable.

It is only in true vulnerability that we are ultimately real. Brené Brown
Brene Brown, Vulnerability, Courage, Friendship, Oprah, Super Soul Sunday, LeAura Alderson, Best Boomers and Beyond, Baby Boomers, Boomers Reinvented, Fair weathered friends,
Fair-weathered friends… will they still be there when…? Through thick and thin?

Yet trust not only the fair-weathered friend. If we can trust enough to be vulnerable and safe, known and yet loved, understood, while understanding, and appreciated for who we are, that is a solid foundation.

For growth and progress best friends are cheerleaders and coaches, for from time to time, we all need a hand, a cheer, a mirror, and a boost.

We do not want the friend who will tell us what we want to hear, no matter what they really think, do we?  As soon as that happens, a layer of dishonesty enters the relationship and erosion begins.

 

Oprah asks what Brené is really looking for [in a friend], and Brené says:

“I’m looking for the person who loves me not despite my vulnerability and imperfection, but because of it. I’m looking for what I call my ‘move the body’ friends. I’m looking for the folks who are going to show up and wade through the deep with me… and I think it’s a myth that you should have more than one or two of those.”

Me too, Brené. Thanks for your courage in daring greatly to be vulnerable, and in so doing, to help pave the way for the rest of us.

How about you?

Visit with Brené´ on TED and on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday, and for Part Two on her 6 types of people as friends.

Brene Brown, Vulnerability, Courage, Friendship, Oprah, Super Soul Sunday, LeAura Alderson, Best Boomers and Beyond, Baby Boomers, Boomers Reinvented, Fair weathered friends,
Rainy day friendships endure.

For another great article on friendship and authenticity, we enjoyed this poignant article by Steve Tobak posted on Entrepreneur.com.

Interview with Bestselling Author Reid Lance Rosenthal

Reid Lance Rosenthal is a friend, successful real estate investor, fourth generation rancher, a real cowboy, and a #1 bestselling author of Love for Land and Money, and the historic western romance series  “Threads West… An American Saga“.

We had numerous technical challenges during this interview, due to the intermittent internet that can happen in the boondocks of Wyoming, and a cowboy more comfortable on a stallion in the wild outback, than with technology.

But in true pioneer style, though it may not always be pretty, we made do with what we had and we made it work. Thanks to our awesome video team for splicing together the five different videos it took to capture this chapter of Reid’s inspiring story, it’s much better, but if you hear references to glitches, and see the odd phone icon on the screen, well you’ll have some context.

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Author Reid L. Rosenthal, surveying his ranch in Wyoming

Reid joked about our technical challenges, saying:

“You know what the information super highway is in Wyoming, don’t ya? Two pick-ups pulled over on the side of the road, facing opposite directions, talking.”

Meanwhile, you’re sure to enjoy Reid’s story-within stories-of his journey to becoming a #1 best-selling, historical western romance novelist.

We especially love how it is that Reid began his successful author career during his second half of life, about 5 years ago, around the age of 56.

Reid is an astute businessman, an amazing, eloquent and brilliant story teller, and as good at wrangling words as he is cattle. It’s fun catching up with Reid from one of his ranches in Wyoming. He’s a man on fire… a man on a mission, and a boomer living full out.

We didn’t even have time to go into his other bestseller book, Land for Love and Money, or his eco-rancher principles and deep and spiritual connection with the land, so we’ll be visiting with him again in the coming year. Meanwhile, if you love novels, mystery, history and stories steeped in the lineage roots that all Americans share, you will love his novel series, Threads West: An American Saga.

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Reid L. Rosenthal at his ranch in Wyoming, holding book 3 of Threads West Uncompahgre!

A disclaimer: I don’t read fiction, so while I’ve only read but part of Reid’s first book, it was enough to know the quality and grand scope of his master storytelling ability.  Meanwhile, my entire family—from teens, to hubbie, to mother, to an aunt and uncle—has read all three of his first novels and eagerly away the imminent release of his fourth book, Moccasin Tracks.

“Forged in the crucible of history, shaped on the anvil of a dangerous land, the threads of their lives and torrid loves interweave with the evolution of America and the West.”

I highly recommend the audio version, read by Reid himself, which you can find here:

BOOK 1:  Threads West Audio Book. 

BOOK 2:  Threads West: Maps of Fate

BOOK 3:  Uncompahgre: Where Water Turns Rock Red

BOOK 4:  Moccasin Tracks – it’s not out yet, but you can reserve it on the Threads West site.    36883_1371261476715_6682297_n

Oh… by the way, I forgot to mention that the Threads West, an American Saga series is slated to be 33 books!!!  WOW!!!  That’s extraordinary.  Like Reid.  And it’s not just fanciful imaginings of a cowboy author.  No, Reid already knows what will be in each one and has it all mapped out… perhaps symbolically reminscent of his second novel:  Maps of Fate.

Folks, meet Reid Lance Rosenthal, an extraordinary man, a real cowboy, with the heart of an artist, and a captivating raconteur, weaving the threads west of our roots deep into the American west, and into the reader’s heart, as we meet those who preceded us, and forged the way.

Thread’s West, entertains, educates, enlightens, and intrigues, while revealing the raw fiber of the American soul, and how each individual strand brings it strength, color and character to the tapestry of a people and their land.

Finding Missing Money

How much money are you missing?

Remember reaching into a pocket and finding a $10 bill? You look at it in amazement wondering how you could have forgotten it. What if you found more than that? A lot more!

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The more places you’ve lived, and the longer you lived, the greater your chances of finding unclaimed property.

Unclaimed property consists of forgotten utility deposits, insurance refunds, final paychecks, stocks, savings accounts and more. The money is held in the state of the owner’s last known address.

Here’s how to start your search:

Go to www.unclaimed.org and enter your name. Search every state you’ve ever lived in under every name you’ve ever used. Don’t forget to look up your family members including the deceased.

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There is an orange tab at the top of the home page. Click on if for Other Places for Unclaimed Property. You’ll find connections to:

  • US Savings Bonds— There are 40 million forgotten matured savings bonds that have stopped earning interest. The estimated value is $16.5 billion dollars. That’s like having money stuffed in your mattress. It’s time to cash them in and reinvest the money.
  • Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation— Unclaimed traditional retirement accounts worth a total of $280 million wait for the owner to claim them. There’s also a single listing for more than $700,000! Look for your deceased family members. If you’re an heir or the designated beneficiary, you may be able to claim it.
  • Housing and Urban Development (HUD) Click the link for information about possible FHA refunds.
  • IRS for tax refunds that were returned because of a bad address.
  • Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) — Find unclaimed funds for insured deposits that were issued and undeliverable or never cashed.
  • Financial Management Service— Each individual federal agency maintains its own records. If you think a government agency may have money for you, check out this site.
  • International unclaimed property sites including Canada, Australia and Switzerland.

If you check this time and there is no listing for you, remember to check back at least once a year because new listings are added all the time.

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Find your missing money.

There is no charge to search using unclaimed.org or the federal sites. There are a lot of sound-alike sites. You should never ever pay for an online search. Some sites will let you search for free, but then try to charge you to file a claim. Don’t do it!

There is no charge to claim your money except for Texas that charges a 1.5 percent handling fee for claims above $100. States keep the interest that the money earns.

States hold the money indefinitely until the rightful owner or heir claims it, except for Indiana that only holds it for 25 years. After that, Indiana takes possession of it and you lose the right to it.

 

the little book of missing money, mary pitman, unclaimed money, unclaimed property, missing money, how to get lost money, how to find money, best boomers and beyond, best boomers, leaura alderson, interview with mary ptiman, missing money lady, the missing money lady, how to claim your propertySpeaker and author Mary Pitman, known as The Missing Money Lady, has MaryPitman_FB_Headshot2appeared on Good Morning America, America’s Money Class with Suze Orman, The John Tesh Radio Network, CNNMoney and dozens of radio shows. For additional sites and search tips you’d never think of check out her book, The Little Book of Missing Money: A Quick and Easy Guide to Finding Money that is Rightfully Yours. Download a free copy of the chapter “Finder’s Fees … To Pay or Not to Pay,” by going to her Web site: www.TheLittleBookOfMissingMoney.com.