Could We Not Help You Enough Dear Robin?

    Robin Williams, depression, tragedy, help, loss,
    Thank you for your gifts to the world. We miss you.

    How could someone who brought so much fun and laughter to so many for so long leave this way?  Could we not help you enough, Dear Robin…?  Could no one…?

    Along with many of you, my family and I mourned the loss of a great soul recently.  But as his family’s press release requested, we mourned by celebrating and appreciating the amazing and prolific art he shared with the world.

    Many of us grew up with Robin Williams.  He was a fellow Baby Boomer, born in 1951, and he left a legacy of laughter, inspiration and entertainment that spans generations of enjoyment.

    My first question upon hearing the news is my typical reaction at such tragedies:  Why couldn’t someone have helped him?!?  Why didn’t he reach out to the many who would have loved to help him?  He had access to some of the best resources.  He didn’t have to suffer alone.

    But this article is not about him, it’s about you.

    So many people are wrestling with depression, anxiety, fear, anger, and feel a sense of quiet desperation and loneliness.  If you are struggling, please get help.  Get a friend, a loved one, a coach or mentor.  Whatever you think might help that’s also healthy and good for you, seek it out, and keep on seeking it out until you’re through the fog of distress.

    When a pilot flies into clouds, he relies on his instruments to get him out safely and on course.  He knows that he cannot rely on his own perceptions and judgement because we lose all points of reliable reference in that space.  It’s much the same for distress, sadness and depression.  We can lose touch with what’s real and true and right without a point of stable reference, and need help from an objective source for guidance.

    As a coach and mentor, it is anguishing to see people suffer needlessly. We all need a little help from time to time, and seeking help does not equate to weakness.  In fact, to seek help is strength because it is a courageous act.  It is wise because it comes from knowing that none of us can have all the answers, and no one can do it all alone.

    Most of us—especially men—think we should be able to solve our problems ourselves, and besides, we don’t want others to know that we’re struggling, let alone what it is we’re struggling with.

    Humans are wired at the cellular level to grow and contribute.

    That’s what cells do.  That’s what nature does.  That’s what we’re wired to do. We need help, and, just as importantly, we need to help others.  Sometimes we need a hand up, and sometimes we give a hand up. That’s a healthy cycle of life.  If you need help, seek it out, please.

    Do not deprive others of the opportunity and pleasure of helping you.

    Love grows from caring.  We care for our children, and this caring expands our love for them.  We care for our pets, and this caring expands our love for them and increases our capacity for compassion in general.  We care for our jobs and that caring, cultivates connection with our work and the people there.

    You need not suffer alone.  There’s always hope to be found.  Seek it.

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